brokenprism | Manly Request Week: Truth or Dare (FFVII, for Fly) (Reply)

Title: Truth or Dare
Fandom: FFVII (game canon only)
Characters/Pairings included: Cloud, Barret (C/B implied)
Rating: PG-13 (profanity!)
Warnings: Naughty language. Naughty actions implied.
Summary:

For

firefly99. Written for Manly Request Week.

---

"If I see one more damn book on Mako, I'm gonna shoot somethin'," Barret barked, hurling the text in question across the room; it landed on the edge of a cardboard box half-full of other discarded books and slid to the ground with a dismayed slap.

Cloud looked up from his own pile of junk momentarily. "For a gunner, Barret, you've sure got crappy aim."

"'Course I got crappy aim," Barret retorted, picking up another book. "It's a - it's a arm wit' a gun, and it don't throw worth shit."

"You didn't throw it with the gun arm," Cloud replied, not looking up from his box.

"Fuck you, Strife."

"Not here, Wallace, Tifa's coming back soon."

"That ain't what I meant," Barret grunted in response, turning away. He dug through the pile of dusty books that lay on the floor in front of him. "'d better appreciate this,' he mumbled, as another volume flew through the air.

"You know she will," Cloud said almost casually, sorting his box of junk into two piles: junk that's obviously trash, and junk to show Vincent because it might be cool. "She's been trying to pay us all week."

"Yeah, 'n if I'da known what a shit job it was, I'da taken the damn money," Barret growled. "Damn Hojo wrote every book on Mako what existed, and it's makin' me sick." Another text flew across the room, spinning into the box. "That guy's sick. Mako, Muscles, and Mutations? - also, he's shit at titles."

Cloud snorted. "Just throw them all out." Another unidentifiable mess of machinery was added to the trash pile. "It's what I'm doing."

"I'd torch 'em all 'f I could," Barret offered. "You heard Tif - save anythin' that looks dangerous, or anythin' that looks important, because Vincent Vinnie-poo wants to look it over, an' all."

"Why, Barret Wallace," Cloud drawled, "you almost sound jealous."

"Fuck you, Strife."

"I'm surprised you'd even ask." Cloud tossed another piece of unidentifiable glassware into the trash box, almost smirking. "You're not my type, apparently."

"Piss off."

"Does somebody have a little crush?"

"'m gonna kill you in your sleep."

There was a moment of comfortable silence - punctuated by breaking glassware and the thud of projectile books landing in their designated trash corner - until Barret grunted. "Now what the hell is this?"

Cloud looked up, momentarily distracted. "What's what now?"

Barret held up a once-glossy paperback book entitled How To Detect Lies: Never Be Lied To Again. "The fuck is this shit?"

"It's a book, Wallace," Cloud said blandly.

"Yeah, I can see that, moron." Barret peeled open the cover, blowing off a cloud of dust. "But everything else in this damn box has been, like, How to Inject Your Dog With Mako and that kinda shit. Plus, this is the first one that ain't a Dr Hojo Project Spec-fucking-tacular."

"Maybe Hojo was interested in being a human lie detector," Cloud offered. "Or, y'know, maybe he had to lie to Shinra to get his funding. Wouldn't be surprised."

"Shinra's full of goddam lies," Barret said, turning a page. "Bet he was doing research on his co-workers or some shit." He paused, and then started chuckling, a deep coffee-rich sound that filled the chilly basement of the mansion.

"What's so funny?" Cloud was staring at him over the pile of junk. "Hey, let me see that."

"Strife, you're a horrible liar," Barret continued to chuckle. "Damn."

"What's that say?" Cloud asked sharply. "Gimme the book, Barret."

"Ahem. 'Signs of Deception: Part Two. A liar may turn his head or body away from his questioner or accuser if he is uncomfortable lying about the subject.' Heh." Barret paused, turning the page. "Was wonderin' why you wouldn't look me in the eye when you said this was just a fling an'-"

"Give me the book, Barret." Cloud had ungracefully scooted himself across the floor, reaching for the text, but Barret deftly yanked it out of his hands and continued to read.

"'A person who is lying to you will avoid making eye contact.' See? Told ya." His voice took on a deep hint of satisfaction as he turned another page.

"You're gonna believe Hojo's book?" Cloud asked, almost angrily. "Just cause I did some dumb - thing? Don't be stupid."

"'A guilty person will go on the defensive'," Barret read with satisfaction. "You suck at this, Strife."

"No, I do not - I did not - fuck you, Wallace, give me the goddam book." Cloud crouched before the other man, hand held out imperiously.

Barret (almost) effortlessly put a thick boot to Cloud's side and gave him a firm shove backwards a couple feet; the swordsman skidded across the floor on his arse, looking furious. Barret continued. "'Liars sometimes avoid lying by not making direct statements.' Shit, Strife," he hooted, "an' you were all vague, like, I think I was just drunk and I gotta think about this one an' damn, I can read you like this goddam book."

"Well, la-de-da," Cloud huffed, crossing his arms in front of him and looking like a sulking, petulant child. "Special Barret can read."

"'A liar will try to avoid the subject through sarcasm or humor'," Barret read. "'Sometimes the subject will'-"

"Can you just stop it now, okay?" Cloud was glaring through the dust in the basement. "Tifa's home, and I don't want her hearing about - just shut up."

Barret did, finally, hearing Tifa's gentle laugh upstairs and Vincent's deep voice. He slid the book to the side into what he mentally dubbed the save pile.

"Didn't know you liked it that much," he said finally, wanting to get the last word in, as a slow dark smirk spread across his face.

"Fuck you, Wallace."

"'s that an invitation?"

Cloud said nothing.

"Truth or Dare, Strife?"

A moldy-smelling book flew across the basement, striking Barret in the upper shoulder and falling harmlessly to the floor.

"You've got crap aim."

"Better than yours."

"Prove it."

Silence - sort of - filled the basement as Cloud finally launched himself across the trash pile.